All posts by Tiyani Be Strong

Hi everyone. My name is Tiyani Nkuna. I am from malamulele in Limpopo. I'm a Quantity Surveyor by profession. I have a passion for encouraging people through a spoken word and a written word. I run an organization called Deepened Hope, that seeks to encourage women to be the best they can ever be. I love God, I love God's people. I value people, I am open minded and relate to people from all walks of life. I am an author of five books titled 1. Deepened Hope 2. Traits of a broken past 3. The Test of Her Right Time (Awaiting Isaac the son of the promise) 4. Adora (My covenant with you shall never be broken) and 5. Prayer Strategy - For wives and aspiring wives.

breathe

I am breathing and that means I take time to feed my soul. I pause from answering things I don’t know, cease from explaining myself to people. Cease from wondering what they think about me, cease from minding others business. If it bothers me I don’t give it my attention for long, if you are not with me then happy traveling wherever you are.
Does anyone know what I am talking about?
Cease from trying too hard ..  too hard to understand, too hard to relate, too hard to fit in.. too hard to show you love, too hard to show you care and for a moment focus on what makes you matter to you. Cease from forcing things. Trying so hard to be relevant.
If you don’t take time to breathe you will suffocate and die from the cares of life… take each day as it comes & never neglect your soul…
Advertisements

Sowing good seeds

Psalm 126:5-6 “Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He, who continually goes forth weeping, Bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, Bringing his sheaves with him.”

Often times when we think of spiritual seeds we think of money that we give at church. But a seed is anything that you sow that can come back to you multiplied.

That seed of peace to someone who wants nothing but to fight with you, the seed of forgiveness to someone who have hurt you so bad, you go forth weeping but carrying words that says, “I forgive you.” The scripture above shows us that we are not always going to sow in joy, sometimes it will be difficult to sow. Difficult seeds will be the seeds we sow thinking that the place we are sowing in are undeserving, “He doesn’t deserve my hello, my help, my smile Etc.  Or the seeds we sow in people who have what we aspire to have and jealousy will try and steal the seed of love.

As difficult as sowing may be, the word of God assured us that it shall come back to us multiplied because a seed is capable of reproducing, developing and yielding fruits of its kind. And the principle of reaping what you sow is at play at all times. Seed time and harvest time shall never cease. (Genesis 8:22).

This is to encourage you friends that we must never cease in well doing and in sowing good seeds because God will reward joy for every tear shed. For every seed you sow harvest is coming your way and you shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing your sheaves with you.

God’s Position is not vacant…

Sometimes we forget that we are all trying to live our lives the best way we know how, there is no one with a perfect formula or map to the future and we give people the power to be God in our lives.

Have you met people who feel they always know what needs to be done in your life? People who would even judge and advice you to let go of certain things in your life and when you check they have held on to worse…People who feel like you owe them to live your life according to their standards and they don’t think you have the liberty to make your own choices or mistakes.

My EX- Boyfriend once said, “It’s my mistake to make,” when being judged for certain decision in his life. Only now I get to comprehend that he was actually fed up of people analysing his life and knowing what’s right and what’s wrong on his behalf.

I am not against being corrected or being advised but we all face challenges and sometimes reach a point of ‘only God knows’. People can only advice based on what they know and where they have been and only God has the final say. Some things remain a mystery and we walk each day by faith.

Never allow anyone to judge you and push you into letting go of something that you still believes in and I mean no matter how ugly or dead it looks if you still believe, if you still have hope stay in it until your heart says enough! If you and God are still at it STAY in the race so that you don’t wake up tomorrow with thoughts of wonder and regret.

My friends and I have what we call, ‘Your I Can’t Moment’ this is a stage where YOU know you cannot anymore and until you reach that stage we can advise but we don’t judge what you do. It is entirety up to you. You have the liberty and the grace we just see from outside, advice based on what we know and our experiences because tomorrow belongs to God and we don’t have access as to how your life will turn out.

Today remember to do YOU…we are all trying life. Live yours for you. It may not be perfect but it’s YOURS…

Your gift will make room for you…

“A man’s gift makes room for him and bring him before the great.” Proverbs 18:16 ESV

In each and every one of us God has deposited gifts, talents and special abilities. All these are for a purpose. Never despise your gift no matter how insignificant others may think of it at first, nature it, work on it and one day you will see the fruits.

Remember people that we call ‘great’ today are people that looked adversity in the face at some point but dared to push forward.

I remember when I discovered that I can actually write. I knew I had the gift but I needed so much validation and in the process of seeking that I got disappointed. Before even putting the first page together I was asked, “Who are you, and who will read your book?” I had no answers but I went on. When I titled my first book, ‘Deepened Hope’ some people said it is a dodgy title and it will not be appealing to the target market, I kept the name anyhow because my vision for it was very clear. When I finally got the cover out, some marketing company said, “Is this what you call a cover?” in all this I pressed on because I am one person whom, when God impresses something in my heart I set myself to doing it against the odds.

I don’t mean to say we must not be open to criticism but we must be aware that there is constructive criticism which we need, there is jealousy, there are dream chockers and there are mere people who just don’t get it, you can explain and explain but they just don’t connect with your gift.

As you work on your craft and meet various people don’t be discouraged. Do master the art of handling rejection. Rejection doesn’t class you as a failure but it opens you up for a different target and more opportunities.

I don’t know how many places I have been to through that very same ‘dodgy title’ book. It is one of the books which sold the most in its time and it is still doing well even today. I have met people through it. It has given me a voice. I have been to radio, and did series because of it. I have been to TV because of it. The very same ‘is this a cover’ book, I have connected to people I never dreamt of connecting with in my life through it.

Again, if I had given up then I would have given up on my writing gift. Sometimes giving up in one thing can mean giving up on nurturing the roots of something big, something beyond you. Don’t give up on your craft.

One of my fellow Phusha Phanda Guy Fred Bohasu said on his post “ I have found my thing which I love and excel in, opportunities are now following me. Find your thing, don’t settle to be average in it but become excellent and watch as opportunities chase after you. #phushaSkorokoro.”

Stay at it and Stay at it with all you have…

Mastering the art of communication

A lot of time what we call communication is mere defensive mechanism and judging. Any relationship or friendship requires clear communication to thrive. Today let me share with you my friendship journey with Nsovo and our barriers in communication.

Nsovo and I have been friends for over ten years. A lot of people see us posting selfies and don’t really understand how things were at the beginning. I am very analytical in nature, Nsovo as well, this was at first a bad thing in our friendship. Nsovo would assume things about me and I would assume and conclude things about her without communicating it out. And we would also have wrong interpretation about things concerning each other.

I remember missing her baby shower, Nsovo assumed that I did that on purpose and that I didn’t care about her anymore. She stepped back. I on the other hand saw the pictures on facebook and thought “Oh, so I am the best friend but I was not invited.” The tension went on until one day she told me why she pulled back and I explained how the only time I learned about her baby shower was on Facebook through the pictures that were posted.

Imagine such misunderstandings daily in your relationship, you would be piling up issues that can be cleared by a simple one question, “Hey, I didn’t see you at the shower what happened. Or I see you had your shower what happened to my invite?” And sometimes the longer we leave things hanging the more we open up for more ideas to furnish that one thought. We conclude more things that are not even true.

From that misunderstanding Nsovo and I made a vow to each other that we would communicate no matter how dark the situation seems, we would not judge each other and we would be understanding. This vow of cause didn’t make things easy at a go. One thing that we both struggled with was offense and short temper. Sometimes I would be hurt over something she said because I over analyzed and vice-versa. Sometimes she would analyze and say “I don’t understand why you are hurt over that, it is not fit to hurt anyone,” and I would be like “But the fact is, I am hurt. You can’t judge what should and what shouldn’t hurt me, I feel hurt. Period!”

And the said thing about these seasons of tension were that we are very good when it comes to supporting each other. Nsovo is that friend of mine who would give me her last R100. So when we were mad and acting up a lot of things would suffer in our lives.

So we added another clause to our vow, I remember before stating your view you had to state that “I don’t mean this in a bad way,” this made the other person to be aware that there is no need for over analyzing and for being defensive, it is not a fight. In the process of opening up to one another and talking about our deepest feelings and clearing misunderstanding every now and then our friendship began to flourish.

Today we have mastered the art of clearing each other’s wrong thoughts and pre-conceived Ideas. But it was a long journey. Now it is easy for us to ask one another questions instead of assuming answers. We trust each other to reason together without judging each other and without imposing our beliefs and ideas on each other.

A lot of relationship suffers because we don’t take time to want to understand the reasoning pattern of the next person. Sometimes we even convince ourselves that our assumptions are truth. Learn to communicate not to make a point only but also to understand. Assumptions kills a lot of relationships, “I thought you are, I thought you were,” without checking with the person first. And expecting the next person to understand what you think without clearly putting it on the table is unfair.

Tried for a purpose

In life we do go through seasons of pruning and difficulties. When we are being pruned through life challenges, losing things, being heartbroken and being disappointed, one can wish to pray these seasons away. Most of the times we ask God questions like, “why, why me,” because we feel we will never need a season of discomfort in our lives but truth of the matter is, we do need it and it also forms part of the ingredients that God use to work everything together for our good. God uses the good, the bad, the tough, the easy, the breaking points and the mountain top experiences to work it all out for our good. And one thing that should encourage you is that the end will be good no matter how it looks today.

Sometimes trials and challenges precede the season of change in our lives. It is a channel God uses to expand us and position us for all He intended for our lives. I look at my life at times and at the lives of those God have placed around me and realise that we wouldn’t have become who we are today if we were never faced with what we faced. Any challenge you overcome moves you to another level. In any life changing event you can either grow or be paralyzed. The ultimate power of what the pain you go through alters in your life depends entirely on you. Be careful not to let your pain shake you but allow it to shape you for the better.

Trials are for a purpose and God will use the very thing meant for your distraction to move you to greater dimensions in life.

Ref Scripture: Romans 8:28

Dear Lady with a man

– Encourage that man, a man also needs to be encouraged sometimes, men also face challenges that us women don’t face at times, don’t be all about receiving and drawing from him, love requires selflessness. Be there for that man also, every relationship requires reciprocity to thrive. Give to that man your support, your time and affection…